never one to be out done or "half-ass" i have decided to commit myself whole-heartedly to my nervous breakdown. i understand that t may involve countless hours of not eating/sleeping, many incoherent drug/drink binges, and a lot of 4 am texting. i understand this and i am completely prepared.
i spoke tom tom today, and received a lovely image of his wound (just in time for halloween!). its insanely hard. even though i know that he is doing way better than was ever expected, its still insanely hard. i feel pretty stupid and naive to think that this whole situation would pass by without having any negative impact on me. its kind of funny. tragedy. is this tragedy? or am i just dramatic?
the only thing i am capable of doing right now is scanning images. i scanned for hours and hours last night. til my eye burned and fingers were raw (not really). it kind of reminds me of a kid i went to school with... i didnt know him personally, he was a grad, i was an unergrad, blah blah... but after his mother died he could no longer paint, so he gessoed and sanded canvases. i guess the only difference is that he was making beautiful art and i am wasting time. at least i have a distraction.
sigh.
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