WANTED: a friend of my very own

i was thinking today that there is an apparent void in my life, a void that can only be filled with a little buddy.
i am good on paper. i have an amazing boyfriend, adorable pets, a decent apartment filled with increasingly respectable furniture.... and yet, no friends.
its not that i am a social leper, its not that i am not "friend-worthy", its just that all my friends have moved away, and i am not in a position for meeting new people. the few new people that i have met have all seemingly been at a different point in their lives... still in school, still bar hopping, still WAY to "scene" oriented, etc...

so, i know there must be others out there...others as in people in there late twenties, who arnt into going to the bar EVERY night, and therefore, i have no idea how to meet other people their own age...who are smart, and funny, and interesting, but are still without a special buddy.

so ive put together a list... read through it, and if you feel like you obtain a large portion of these characteristics, then message me. dont be "too cool", i promise i wont reject you (immediately)... plus being "cool" is lame anyway....

you should...

be female, and come with awesome, likable, funny, un-douchey boyfriend. (boyfriend should not watch sports, listen to new rock, or read maxim magazine... for that matter, niether should female)
be age 27-30-ish (mature 25 year olds and young 35 year olds will not be disqualified based on age.)
be educated, cultured, and well-read
have a dark, sarcastic sense of humor
be comfortable hanging out with crass tattooed people, but be mannered enough to realize that there is a time and a place for everything (you recognize that yelling about butt sex in a public restaurant, while surrounded by tables of families is inappropriate.)
be interested in art (artist prefered)
be familiar with new, young, artists, and not just the generic family of juxtapoz artists
have an extensive bookmark collection of above mentioned artists, to share with me.... additional knowledge of techiniques, inspirational materials, or cool equipment/facilities a plus
love good movies, in particular, indies, documentaries, and comedies.
have an interest in buddhism and/or yoga

(((basically, you should be a fun, inspiring, person, who can carry on a decent conversation on a variety of topics.)))

should not...

have children... sorry.
be pretentious...
be overly concerned with what the "new buzz band" is or other repulsively trendy crap. spending far too much time scouring the web for the newest, coolest, trend, will be interpretted as a lack of hobbies and a desire to be accepted.
be gossipey. i dont want to be around people who have to be mean in order to make themselves feel better.
blindly hate. racism, sexism, classism, etc. talking shit on people just because they are different is lame.
do drugs or excessively drink (a good time for you is not a good time for your friends)
be psychologically damaged (abused, molested, abandoned, etc.... i know this sounds harsh, but i have tried to heal one too many wounded birds.)
have food issues, complaining about ones weight or ones calorie intake will not be tolerated.
have loose morals.... stealers, liars, and cheaters, need not apply
be judgemental
should not offend easily, particularly by foul language.

(((basically, you shouldnt be a lame, shitty person, with a negative attitude.)))

if this is you, please contact me....so we can be friends....

a.